structure

Structure is the key that holds a better life for us all. When I got a job it was like forcibly being driven out of my head and into the real world again. With all the time on my hands I used to worry a lot and get very self absorbed, now I don't really have this problem because structure has taken over. I'm not saying this works for everybody, but I think it could work for you.

At first I was scared about the stress work might cause. Would it exacerbate my illness? What if I had an episode at work? What I realized is nowadays I'm better at taking care of myself. I know after a stressful day it's onto the skateboard to forget and refresh, or it's a call to a friend to explain my day, hear their voice, words, and compassion. It's always a good idea to have some meds on hand for a PRM dose if things get hectic though. Purchase a small pill box and keep it in your car.

Work and the structure that comes with it are essential for a person like me to continue to get better. Work is a big step toward the vision of recovery. I could have applied for a hand-out and gotten my disability, but to me work brings the structure I need, and as a consequence, a newfound stability.

stigma, trust, risk

It's tough dealing with the stigma of mental illness. Do you tell the people you work with? Who can you tell? It's good to have people that you can trust who won't see you differently after you reveal yourself. In fact that's necessary for developing an effective support system. You must be able to reveal parts of yourself you may not be comfortable with telling just anybody. That's how you let people know what you're going through, so they may be able to understand and offer support. Though this can be done in small measure surreptitiously I think. But I think you're more apt to tell everyone you have a cold then tell them you're symptomatic.

Certainly not just anybody is a candidate for your trust. I wouldn't reveal my illness to those I work with 'til we establish a strong relationship, and even then i'm not sure if anyone's capable of holding it a secret. Trust is hard to come by. I mainly trust the people who I've grown up with, or other people with similar illnesses.

I'm not ashamed of what I suffer from, and I also don't see myself differently from other people. It's taken time to establish that. On a side note: often times we get consumed by our illnesses, often calling ourselves Bi-polar instead of a person with Bi-polar. We can get caught up in intensive and unhelpful analysis trying to solve our issues, or have constant worry. It's tough to take a step back and let ourselves fall into a kind of acceptance. My favorite phrase has been: to make sense of it is not to make sense of it.

Stigma is something you ought to be conscious of. Knowing who can be told and who cannot, yet that's not absolute. I myself have reached out to people on occasion and taken a risk by revealing a part of myself I'm not comfortable talking about. It was through this that I discovered another person with a similar illness to mine. The time is not always right, but taking risks shouldn't be completely written off.

However you want to avoid a situation where you face differential treatment, whispering, and gossip. Please use your common sense!