some musings that might rock you, or not.

what is a mental illness?

>>> a diagnosis
>>> a label for a set of symptoms
>>> a chemical imbalance in the brain

What feels right to me is calling mental illness a chemical imbalance in the brain. Why? Because it takes the burden off of me. By calling it a chemical imbalance I'm not going to try and fix something that cannot be fixed except with medication. I'm told to say affirmations to myself. I'm told to journal. I'm told to think positively.

Does that stuff have any real bearing on me getting better?

Listen, everything that has worked for me is basically using coping skills when i become symptomatic, as a way of getting thrugh hard times (a kind of reprieve) until the symptoms abate. Coping skills are not about fixing you, because you have a chemical imbalance, and there's nothing you can do. Coping skills are designed to offer a reprieve through symptomatic times, so you don't combust, or something. In this respect they have great value, and the more you have the better off you are.

But let's be realistic here. If one coping skill is go hang out with your friends, or be around people you enjoy spending time with. That's a good thing. Certainly getting to know new people is an excellent method of improving your quality of life. More friends + More to do = more to enjoy. But, it doesn't change the underlying thing, that you have a mental illness, and it is a chemical imbalance in the brain.

Coping skills are valuable, but they are designed as a reprieve to spare you through the hard times, until at such time you gain back some stability.

So what can we do to recover?

Certainly it's a huge debate whether people recover, and there are factors that play out in making that possible. I for one know Work is a huge step.  I believe that work equates to: structure + purpose = recovery.

You can recover by getting a job, though I don't want to pick that apart, let's just say Work is Work, and it works, forgive me.

What else? I believe opening up to other people is another step in the way of recovery. Why exactly, maybe because it has a degree of acceptance that you find in other people. The fact that you can explain your situation, and they still love you and care is a moment that you feel with stinging acuity. Though it's a process of getting to the point where you are prepared to share, and doing it with the right people listening.

Other than that, i don't know. I don't believe philosophizing is a way to recovery. People say have a spiritual life, but I consider doing what I'm passionate about, and getting in line with what I value, perhaps a spiritual like pursuit in life. I don't ponder that much further.

Do we really ever recover though? I believe we do. It's not about trying to outman our illness, or get at the root and eradicate it. There's nothing to challenge but our own sanity through that. Recovery is found in a desire to recover by doing certain things, and no one really knows how you arrive at that point unfortunately. I can't tell you.

They say think positive. They say say affirmations. But I believe what you can do is try to get a job, try to make some friends, attempt to open up to people, and know your coping skills to get through the ruff stretches.